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The Case:
The Supposedly Invisible Man |
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Jack was one serious physicist, making
breakthrough after breakthrough. So why did
everyone try to sabotage him, and why didn't he
get promoted? |
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The Players
Jack, a 52 year old physicist and network
engineer.
Various bosses and co-workers, inside and
outside his department, from higher to far lower
levels. |
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The Problem
Jack fancied himself Albert Einstein – and he was
nearly as brilliant! His company’s mission was
leading-edge networking software, and he
generated critical ideas over 15 years, many of
which found their way into important products.
Even so, he was marginalized and scapegoated in
the organization, given bad reviews (which said
nothing useful about what the problems were) and
few raises, resulting in his becoming angry and
dysfunctional. It wouldn't be long before he was
fired or forced to leave.
The main problem was that Jack had absolutely no
awareness of how he came across to other people.
Specifically, he had no understanding that he
seemed both belittling and out of contact; both
nasty and a “space shot” – a combination
guaranteed to lead to his being pilloried. But
Jack lived in the world of mathematical theory,
and believed that since he was superior in that
world, he simply didn't have to pay attention to
everyday relationships. He looked at “normal”
people with scorn, though it quickly became
clear that he also envied them. He was humble in
describing his accomplishments, but it was
obvious that he came across to others as
arrogant. |
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The Smart Relationship Insight
Jack needed to read himself right! While he seemed
vastly insensitive, it was a protective cover
for similarly vast insecurity. He was the oddly
brilliant son of a Kentucky coal miner who had
been furious at his company, which had abused
it's workers and ultimately hastened his death.
Jack had inherited similar attitudes, which now,
in a vastly different context and with the added
factor of his intellectual brilliance, appeared
as paranoia and blindness to the world around
him. We shared the pun that he wouldn't be able
to get into his mind before he got out out of
his mine. Gradually, he came to understand how
he had transferred his father’s work issues to
himself and his own prestigious company, decades
later and wholly inappropriately.
Jack quickly took to the idea of learning to see
himself objectively. He had his wife videotape
him at parties and other gatherings, and
recorded himself giving lectures and chairing
meetings at work. He practiced speaking into a
tape recorder on his commute. He even installed
a three-way mirror in his bathroom.
Using these feedback devices, Jack came to see
what other people saw in him, and why they had
disliked him. He was astonished and abashed, but
didn't run away. He became so good at seeing and
hearing himself in context that he could process
other people's reactions to him in “real time,”
an ability few possess.
He used this new skill set to change his way
with his colleagues. His tone of voice changed
to one that sounded involved, cooperative, and
down to earth. His appearance changed from
“shaggy-professorial” to “scientist-managerial’,
which fit his goals more closely. He became easy
going and cordial with colleagues, yet was able
to display his strength and defend his
intellectual turf where necessary. Previously
people had denigrated his ideas, then
appropriated them as their own.
The changes extended to the politics of his
company. While before he had been deaf to its
Machiavellian workings, he now developed
super-acute hearing. He implemented a program of
building strategic alliances, and chose projects
that would keep him close to colleagues who
could help him if the higher-ups decided to back
someone else, or fire someone because of a
funding cut. He learned the value of naming
strategic colleagues as second authors of his
papers. He aligned his research interests far
more closely with those of the company, without
sacrificing either his interest in or the
quality of, his work. He no longer worked in a
vacuum; instead, he constantly kept in mind the
company’s needs five years out. This made the
higher-ups realize his tangible strategic value. |
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Outcome
A few years out, Jack has had a promotion and pay
increase, and is no longer marginalized. The old
“scape-goating days” are all but forgotten. He
is working harder then ever, but productively
and with results. He is being taken seriously
both by his peers and by corporate management.
He has bypassed the people who were (in fact!)
out to get him (some of them are the new
scapegoats), and now counts as his friends
several people at the vice-presidential level.
He may well become one of them.
There was another spin-off: Jack’s family life
improved! While he still tends to “have his feet
in the living room and his head in the clouds”
(to quote his wife) he is far more attentive and
involved with her and his three sons. Jack’s
recent comment: “thank God I finally realized
we're all here together.”
All this from understanding that people read us
constantly, so we had better learn to see
ourselves as they see us!
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